By me. It’s my new book yay! She’s just a girl. Standing in front of four rom-coms. Praying for death. Sophie Sweet is a game programmer who adores three things: writing code; Doritos Surprise, the one thing she can cook; and her ride-or-die BFF Jodie Edwards. And only those three. To Sophie, people are a lousy bunch of jackasses who lie and leave…

LYSSA STRATA drops on May 1, 2021. It’s about a sex strike. Gasp! — I wrote the vast majority of my debut novel, LYSSA STRATA, in a fit of rage. Or a fit of crying. Or a fit of my butt dying because I could not stand up and let go of the internet shitstorm that was 2017. The deep, harrowing misogyny of 2016…

Doors open 6:30pm, fun starts at 7! Learn more information & grab some tickets here! Be there to watch me read from ATTACK OF THE ROM-COM, or be square n stuff.

I have my very first piece in McSweeney’s Internet Tendency! To support the striking writers of the #WGA, I have…I mean the AI has…written some truly, um, “magical” rom-com moments. Like~ Broman Holiday WILLY (gasping): You are an undercover prince? The hospital lights glow brightly so that nobody cuts into the wrong…

The Royal Orgysmith organized the party-goers into lines of “flexible” and “brought own riding crop.” In the dankest depths of the darkest month of the year, Blorgvember, happened the most horrid holiday this side of a dirty cat butt: Valentine’s Day. Everything awful in Kingdomville occurred in Blorgvember, unless you…

It was a truism in Kingdomville that unpleasant things could, and should, be blamed on a woman. In a kinder, gentler time, when beheadings were family events, there was born a glorious princess to the kingdom of Kingdomville on a very auspicious day. That’s the way the story of Princess…

Geesh, all these dudes looked alike. Inbred, no doubt. There once was a friend-wife named Agnes, who hated Limericks. Agnes had friend-married Princess Poot of Kingdomville in exchange for the title of Prince and the fifteen-kegs-of-beer-a-month salary, even though Poot was a very shitty princess. …

Alas, pink didn’t match Princess Poot’s nail fungus at all. There once lived a princess so lovely and non-gassy, she outshone the heavens, and even the Vegas strip. This is not a story about that lady. Our tale involves Princess Poot, who couldn’t outshine a pile of mulch, especially if…

The Pent-Annual Princess Jamboree was in a week, and Princess Poot couldn’t bear to win the “We Kindly Suggest-eth Thy Live with the Mole People” Cup. Not again. Back in the days of Yore (“Yore” being a demonic cheerleader from the third circle of damnation sent to bedevil people who…