Excerpts from AI-Written Rom-Coms That Prove Human Writers Are Obsolete

Martti Nelson, Lady Author
2 min readMay 10, 2023

I have my very first piece in McSweeney’s Internet Tendency!

To support the striking writers of the #WGA, I have…I mean the AI has…written some truly, um, “magical” rom-com moments.

Like~

Broman Holiday

WILLY (gasping): You are an undercover prince?

The hospital lights glow brightly so that nobody cuts into the wrong person anymore.

PRINCE PETER (nodding his chin, which resembles a butt): I am the undercover prince for all of Brotopia.

He takes a golden cape out of his man-satchel and swings it around his shoulders.

WILLY: Wow. That is a cape.

PRINCE PETER: I own 176 capes — one for every day of the year.

The hospital lights began to buzz in their own language. Willy gets down on one of his two knees.

WILLY: But how can an undercover prince love me, a child surgeon who saves countless adorable lives?

Willy pounds the ground, which is tile, so the pounding isn’t a very good idea.

PRINCE PETER (looking deeply into Willy’s twirling eyes): We will be equals once I am a child surgeon, too. Hand me the knife.

The two sweethearts live happily ever after and cut open a little girl, who was sick with bleeding.

The hospital lights looked from high above. That little girl was their daughter.

READ MORE HERE! I wouldn’t mind if you shared it and stuff. And support the WGA, they are doing Din Grogu’s work!

--

--

Martti Nelson, Lady Author
Martti Nelson, Lady Author

Written by Martti Nelson, Lady Author

Beautiful, but doesn’t know it. Humor, parody, satire author. ATTACK OF THE ROM-COM out now! marttinelson.com | She/Hers