Excerpts from AI-Written Rom-Coms That Prove Human Writers Are Obsolete
I have my very first piece in McSweeney’s Internet Tendency!
To support the striking writers of the #WGA, I have…I mean the AI has…written some truly, um, “magical” rom-com moments.
WILLY (gasping): You are an undercover prince?
The hospital lights glow brightly so that nobody cuts into the wrong person anymore.
PRINCE PETER (nodding his chin, which resembles a butt): I am the undercover prince for all of Brotopia.
He takes a golden cape out of his man-satchel and swings it around his shoulders.
WILLY: Wow. That is a cape.
PRINCE PETER: I own 176 capes — one for every day of the year.
The hospital lights began to buzz in their own language. Willy gets down on one of his two knees.
WILLY: But how can an undercover prince love me, a child surgeon who saves countless adorable lives?
Willy pounds the ground, which is tile, so the pounding isn’t a very good idea.
PRINCE PETER (looking deeply into Willy’s twirling eyes): We will be equals once I am a child surgeon, too. Hand me the knife.
The two sweethearts live happily ever after and cut open a little girl, who was sick with bleeding.
The hospital lights looked from high above. That little girl was their daughter.